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Friday, October 29, 2010

The Bob Saga: XXXV: Chey Visits MI6

Posted on 11:34 AM by Unknown

Written 29 October, 2010

The Bob Saga

XXXV: Chey Visits MI6

"How do I look?" I asked.

"Like Casper the Friendly Ghost," Sweetie said.

Not long ago my bald hair base went rogue. Every time I put it on I unrezzed-- turned into a cloud of smoke. I saw me as a ghost and others saw me as a ghost. It drove me crazy until I figured it out.

So I was a foggy ghost, appropriate enough for Halloween. To further disguise myself, I was using a hated display name. The name I had chosen was Sarah Palin. I selected it because I was pretty sure Diva identified with Palin's sociopathy. You betcha.

I had talked AlexHayden Jumponapila into getting me an audience with Q at MI6 headquarters. Q had liked it when I arrived with a screen full of HUDS. I was wearing a Mystitool that would allow me to cage or trap Diva, and a HUD that would search the area for any prim named Bob. A purchased compass HUD and an altimeter HUD of my own devising would keep me oriented, and the built-in radar of the Mystitool would give me notice of nearby avatars.

I was immediately attracted to Q's watermelon gun. Watermelons are large and bulky and have a great deal of inertia, making them effective weapons in any area with push turned on. Q tried his best to talk me out of the watermelon gun.

"It's still in development," he said. "Highly unreliable. Can I interest you in this shoe dagger?"

"No."

"How about a garrote watch?"

"No."

"Exploding attache case?"

"Sweetie will be taking care of the explosives," I said.

"Folding electrocution chair?"

"Thank you, no."

"Voice changer?"

"Second Life already has one of  those. Does your suck as much?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Then no."

"Cake bomb?"

"Is it devil's food?"

"Sorry, no, carrot with cream cheese icing."

"Don't need it."

"Fountain pen gun?"

"No."

"Cigarette lighter camera?"

"No one smokes these days."

"Flamethrower hair spray can?"

"No."

"Those watermelon guns are tricky," Q said. "Seed shrapnel, you know. How about a nice Aston-Martin with revolving license plates and villain-catching bumper?"

"No."

"It has leather seats."

"NO."

"There are machine guns concealed behind the headlights."

"NO!"

"It also has the infamous oil slick feature."

"NO, NO, NO!"

"It's on your head, then," Q said. "I won't be responsible if that watermelon gun gets you into trouble."

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      • The Bob Saga: XXXXI: Bob's Triumphant Return
      • The Bob Saga: XXXX: Resolution
      • The Bob Saga: XXXXIX: Victory Snatched From the Ja...
      • The Bob Saga: XXXVIII: Chaos
      • The Bob Saga: XXXVII: The Unveiling
      • The Bob Saga: XXXVI: Sweetie Perfects Her Disguise
      • The Bob Saga: XXXV: Chey Visits MI6
      • The Bob Saga: XXXIV: Criminal Performance Art
      • The Bob Saga XXXIII: Art Nation
      • The Bob Saga XXXII: Neelix Nesselrides In
      • Dear Linden Lab
      • The Bob Saga: XXXI: Destination Brooklyn?
      • The Bob Saga: XXX: Bob Behind Every Bush
      • The Bob Saga: XXIX: Bob Gets Up to Make the Donuts
      • The Bob Saga: XXVIII: Flat Pack
      • The Bob Saga: XXVII: Passport Problems
      • The Bob Saga: XXVI: The Bobnappers Apologize
      • The Bob Saga: XXV: Ransom Drop Redux
      • The Bob Saga: XXIV: In Which Cheyenne Contemplates...
      • The Bob Saga: XXIII: Another Ransom Demand
      • Halloweenified
      • The Bob Saga: XXII: Ghost Bob
      • Whimsy, by G.M. Nickolaides
      • Early Morning Reflections From Cape Cod
      • The Bob Saga: XXI: Bob and the Moon
      • The Bob Saga: XX: Dear Bobnappers
      • Fireworks on Whimsy
      • Off On a Secret Mission
      • The Bob Saga: XIX: Sweetie Jumps
      • The Bob Saga XVIII: The Money Drop
      • The Bob Saga: XVII: Free Bob!
      • The Bob Saga: XVI: Poor Bob!
      • The Bob Saga XV: Fingerprint Analysis
      • The Bob Saga XIV: Finally, the Random Demand!
      • The Bob Saga XVIII: A Spy In Our Midst
      • The Bob Saga XVII: Sunday Delivery
      • The Bob Saga: XVI: Bob Postcard Update
      • The Bob Saga: XV: Sweetie Continues Her Analysis
      • The Bob Saga: XIV: Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along
      • The Bob Saga: XIII: Sweetie Delivers
      • The Bob Saga XII: Bob and His Peers
      • The Bob Saga XI: Another Postcard
      • The Bob Saga: X: The Interview
      • The Bob Saga: IX: Writing Appears
      • The Bob Saga VIII: Another Mysterious Postcard
      • The Bob Saga: VII: Emergency Trip to Paris
      • The Bob Saga VI: Bob Sighting!
      • The Bob Saga: V: BOLO
      • The Bob Saga IV: Amber Alert
      • The Bob Saga: III: The Investigation Begins
    • ►  September (18)
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