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Friday, October 1, 2010

The Bob Saga: III: The Investigation Begins

Posted on 12:04 PM by Unknown
After The CSI Technicians Left, Chey Thought About Entering the Crime Scene
Written 1 October, 2010

The Bob Saga

III. The Investigation Begins

Ms. Palisades?

Yes?

Ms. Cheyenne Palisades?

Yes.

I'm Chief Linden Inspector Cloq Jasteau.  I am here for the investigation.

Welcome to Whimsy, Inspector Jasteau.

That's CHIEF Inspector Jasteau.

Welcome, Chief Inspector.

Will you please show me the zeen of the crime?

The zeen?

Yes, the zeen. The zeen of the crime.

Ah, yes, of course, the zeen of the crime! Come with me, funny little man. Here we are, Whimsy <113, 32, 20>.

But I see nothing here! How, then, can there be a crime? A crime suggests something, does it not? But this is nothing. How can this be a crime?


[For more ridiculousness, click READ MORE below]



But Bob is missing!

Your boomb is missing? You have a boomb? You are not supposed to have a boomb! Is this boomb timed to explode?

No, no, we have a Bob, not an , ah, boomb.

Ah, a Bob! That explains everything. But tell, me, what is a Bob?

Not a Bob. The Bob.

Of course, the Bob. What is the Bob?

Bob is a giant granite Paleolithic drinking bird.

Yes, yes, granite, Paleolithc, but what is a drinking bird?

It's a toy bird that makes a rocking motion; its beak dips into some sort of liquid, usually water.

And why do you call zis Bob Bob?

Because he does. Why do you have a blank look on your face?

Ms. Palisades, I need you to step back so I can investigate the zeen.

Of course. Hey, what are you doing? Is it necessary for you to point that gun at me?

But you are a suspect! You are lucky I do not zhoot you!

Zhoot me? I mean shoot me? But I'm the one who reported the crime.

Yes, and how clever you are to do zat! Aha!

Aha?

Yes, yes, Aha!

Aha what?

A galue!

Oh, wonderful! Wait-- a galue? You found a galue?

Yes, yes, you may tell me how brilliant I am later. Do you see the galue?

The galue-- I mean the clue? I see one of Bob's tail feathers.

That is no feather! That is a strip of leather.

Yeah, I know, I know. I had a limited number of textures when I made him. But it's his tail feather, all right. Doesn't that suggest he was Bobnapped?

And what is that to the left of the feather?

Uh, a dead prim guy with a sword in his back?

No, no, the other thing. 

Oh, yes! It looks like a foot. No, it's a zhue-- I mean, a shoe.. A Moody Stiletto, with a fake foot attached.



You realize what this means, Ms. Palisades? A foot sticking from the zand? It's murder, murder most foul! And you are under arrest.

What about the dead guy?

I cannot work two cases at once! Your ticket said nothing about a dead man. I arrest you for the foot!

Inferior French Handcuffs Cannot Hold Cheyenne Palsiades
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      • The Bob Saga: XXXXI: Bob's Triumphant Return
      • The Bob Saga: XXXX: Resolution
      • The Bob Saga: XXXXIX: Victory Snatched From the Ja...
      • The Bob Saga: XXXVIII: Chaos
      • The Bob Saga: XXXVII: The Unveiling
      • The Bob Saga: XXXVI: Sweetie Perfects Her Disguise
      • The Bob Saga: XXXV: Chey Visits MI6
      • The Bob Saga: XXXIV: Criminal Performance Art
      • The Bob Saga XXXIII: Art Nation
      • The Bob Saga XXXII: Neelix Nesselrides In
      • Dear Linden Lab
      • The Bob Saga: XXXI: Destination Brooklyn?
      • The Bob Saga: XXX: Bob Behind Every Bush
      • The Bob Saga: XXIX: Bob Gets Up to Make the Donuts
      • The Bob Saga: XXVIII: Flat Pack
      • The Bob Saga: XXVII: Passport Problems
      • The Bob Saga: XXVI: The Bobnappers Apologize
      • The Bob Saga: XXV: Ransom Drop Redux
      • The Bob Saga: XXIV: In Which Cheyenne Contemplates...
      • The Bob Saga: XXIII: Another Ransom Demand
      • Halloweenified
      • The Bob Saga: XXII: Ghost Bob
      • Whimsy, by G.M. Nickolaides
      • Early Morning Reflections From Cape Cod
      • The Bob Saga: XXI: Bob and the Moon
      • The Bob Saga: XX: Dear Bobnappers
      • Fireworks on Whimsy
      • Off On a Secret Mission
      • The Bob Saga: XIX: Sweetie Jumps
      • The Bob Saga XVIII: The Money Drop
      • The Bob Saga: XVII: Free Bob!
      • The Bob Saga: XVI: Poor Bob!
      • The Bob Saga XV: Fingerprint Analysis
      • The Bob Saga XIV: Finally, the Random Demand!
      • The Bob Saga XVIII: A Spy In Our Midst
      • The Bob Saga XVII: Sunday Delivery
      • The Bob Saga: XVI: Bob Postcard Update
      • The Bob Saga: XV: Sweetie Continues Her Analysis
      • The Bob Saga: XIV: Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along
      • The Bob Saga: XIII: Sweetie Delivers
      • The Bob Saga XII: Bob and His Peers
      • The Bob Saga XI: Another Postcard
      • The Bob Saga: X: The Interview
      • The Bob Saga: IX: Writing Appears
      • The Bob Saga VIII: Another Mysterious Postcard
      • The Bob Saga: VII: Emergency Trip to Paris
      • The Bob Saga VI: Bob Sighting!
      • The Bob Saga: V: BOLO
      • The Bob Saga IV: Amber Alert
      • The Bob Saga: III: The Investigation Begins
    • ►  September (18)
    • ►  August (13)
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