Leveraged Buyout: Part X. Banned!

Leveraged Buyout

Part X: Banned!

Written 5 November, 2012

One minute I was lying in bed with Sweetie and the next I was standing on the square at the Ahern Welcome Area!

"Oh, look, another nude newbie!" someone said.

"Where?" I asked, and then realized it was me. I was starkers.

"I'm not a newbie," I said, and tried to put on my emergency starter outfit. Of course, since there were 70 avies on the sim it didn't happen right away.

Looking up, I noticed there were zero Lindens in my account. As it was just after the first of the month, there had been just over $22,000L from Whimsians paying tier. Every month I convert it to dollars to offset part of the cost of the money I pay the Linden for Whimsy's. I knew Taggmasster had somehow stolen all my money.

I IMed Sweetie. "Wakie wakey, hon. Did the sim crash?"

She yawned and then said, "Uh, no, I'm still in bed."

"Damnit!" I said. "I've been banned from my own sim!"

"Well, you were in violation of the retraining order."

"A bogus restraining order," I shouted, "and one that should never have been issued in the first place!"

"Calm down," she said. "I'm sure Leaf Shermer will put you up."

"Yeah, but I won't be able to go to the board meeting. Damn that Judge Camper!"

"Want me to cut his head off?" Sweetie asked.

"At the first opportunity," I said.

"I can act as your proxy," she said.

"No," I said. "That would be a conflict of interest because you'll be representing me as my attorney. Can you rush over to one of the law schools and pick up a law degree?"

"No need," Sweetie said. "I have one already."

"Why am I not surprised?" I said. "But are you on the bar?"

"Since Whimsy is at least for the moment an independent nation-state, I can issue myself one," she said. Then, "I have an idea. You can give Dakota your proxy."

Dakota Burns is my alt. She began life as sacrificial virgin to the volcano goddess Pele, but quickly assumed a personality and life of her own. Besides, Pele doesn't accept human sacrifices.

"Dakota and I aren't on good terms," I said. "The last time we talked I dumped all my transferrable excess inventory on her to hold and never paid her. She's still complaining about having a wardrobe full of old lady clothes."

"Well," Sweetie said, "don't be so tight. Pay her this time."

"I'll do it," I said, "but I have a bad feeling about this. We have no idea what Dakota has been up to these last few years."